How Can I Get Through to You:
Reconnecting Men and
Women
By Terrence Real
"Terrance Real has shown, once again, his
understanding of men, women and relationships! You will see yourself
and your loved ones on every page of this book. Real's courageous and
compassionate view of the pain of intimacy is by far the most honest
explanation we have had for the state of marriage in our culture. As a
man, he owns his own history and behaviors in favor of a more
truthful, albeit painful, capacity for intimacy. As a woman reader, I
was able to have a deeper understanding of men's behaviors and also of
the ways women collude with avoiding intimacy, despite their cries for
it!" Anonymous Amazon.com review
Book Excerpt...
by Terrence Real
Introduction to How Can I Get Through to
You?
The
relationship between men and women is in trouble, and it has been for
over a generation. The relatively stable divorce rate over the past
few decades indicates that the advent of couple's therapy in the 1950s
has so far yielded nothing potent enough to affect the fate of the
roughly one out of two couples who will see their marriage dissolve.
We have enjoyed a period of unheralded creativity and prosperity. We
marvel at new advances in technology and science that lengthen and
strengthen our lives every day. No generation in history has taken so
seriously issues of health and well-being -- both for ourselves and
our children. And yet, nonetheless, we have never been lonelier. Our
sense of community is breaking down, our sense of belonging has seldom
felt weaker, and, silhouetted against this backdrop, couples that once
loved one another have never had a more difficult time holding fast.
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GUEST ARTICLE...
by Glenn J. Sacks
The Price of Fatherhood--a Father's Reply to
Ann Crittenden's 'Mothers Manifesto'
One
day a journeyman electrician called to me to climb down and help him.
He had a rope in one hand and his tool box in the other. We walked
over to a large room filled with immense electrical panels. He told me
to stand 10 feet behind him and hold the rope. I had no idea why, but
I did as I was told. He then made the other part of the rope into a
harness, put it on, and said "I'm gonna work on these wires, and some
of them are live. If I hit the wrong one and start to fry, you pull me
out."
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COYOTE...
monthly column by Dick Prosapio
Cognitive Dissonance
I struggled with the clear picture of
him held in my memory as we talked because I couldn't connect up the
older mans voice I was hearing on the phone with what I had stored
about him in my brain. "Yes," I had to keep saying to myself, "this is
my buddy Dick, the same guy I remember." And yet, the voice and the
internal picture didn't fit together, and I knew, at the same moment,
that he must be having the same experience of me.and neither of us
knew that about ourselves..that we had aged beyond, well beyond,
that old memory we kept inside.
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Archive
THOUGHTS...
monthly column by Larry Pesavento
The Veil Has Lifted: Everything Has Changed
I
believe we, as a country, are in the middle of an initiatory crisis. I
believe Robert Bly is right, as far as men in our culture are
concerned. We are an early adolescent, sibling society. That is why
everything feels like it is changing. We have not been initiated, so
we have not been guided, past death, into the other half of our world.
There are no such transformative experiences in our culture to prepare
us for tragedies such as this. I am afraid that when faced with an
involuntary initiatory crisis such as this, we, as American men, can
too easily become angry, impulsive teens, obsessed with our image,
hypervigilant about somehow being dissed, ready to violently prove the
manhood we don't even have. I don't think I am the only one afraid of
this
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THE NEW INTIMACY...
monthly column by
Judith Sherven, Ph.D. and James Sniechowski, Ph.D.
The Spiritual Purpose of Your Being Together
As we've said, it's no accident that
you've found one another. And you're not together just to have babies
and pay the mortgage. What is your long-range vision of being
together? What are your joint goals? If you are unsure of the
spiritual purpose of your relationship, simply look to where you feel
the most unfinished, where self-expression has been most strangled.
How is your partner well suited to helping you grow in just those
areas?
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JEFF'S LIFE... monthly
column by Jeff Stimpson
The Rest of His Life
The bed battle continues with Alex. We have
been trying to get him to sleep in a bed for, what, 10 years now? That
or a month. I forget which.
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