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The Bastard on the Couch:
27 Men Try Really Hard to Explain Their Feelings
About Love, Loss, Fatherhood, and Freedom

Edited by Daniel Jones

In Cathi Hanauer's 2002 book The Bitch in the House, 26 women wrote about their relationships with men, especially the difficulties involved in combining marriage, children, and a satisfying career. But, as Jones explains in his introduction to this sequel, that was only half the story. Here, the editor (Hanauer's husband) gives 27 men the chance to speak out on the same subject and to respond to criticisms leveled against them and their gender in the first book. (Several of the contributors are the husbands of women whose essays appeared in the earlier volume.) Taken either as a stand-alone or as a sequel to The Bitch in the House, it's a remarkably interesting, entertaining book. The contributors, most of them writers by trade, are eloquent, thoughtful, and (in many cases) disarmingly open about their dreams, ambitions, and weaknesses. This is not one of those simplistic men-have-feelings-too books. It's a deep and varied exploration of how the blurred gender roles of men and women have impacted the lives of individual men. An eye-opening account. David Pitt

Book Excerpt... by Daniel Jones
Introduction
In September of 2002, my wife, Cathi Hanauer, published a book called The Bitch in the House: 26 Women Tell the Truth About Sex, Solitude, Work, Motherhood, and Marriage. The original essays she collected in the book were uniformly smart and penetrating, the truths of the contributors' lives were laid startlingly bare, and The Bitch in the House immediately struck a nerve and became a surprise national bestseller. The essays ranged in perspective from young women warily negotiating their first serious relationships to those in their sixties looking back with understanding and acceptance. But the main thrust of the book, and the aspect that garnered the most attention, was the anger and frustration of working mothers who ostensibly wanted to "have it all"--i.e., a harmonious and satisfying blend of career, children, and marriage. The victories of feminism in the sixties and seventies had led the women and men of my generation to expect that our marriages would be different from those of our parents and grandparents. Our generation would feature ambitious working mothers finding fulfillment both at work and at home, and enlightened husbands who cooked and cleaned and changed diapers--modern parents who were equal partners in the raising of children, the paying of bills, the buying of groceries, the folding of laundry, and so on. 
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Editorial... by Jim Bracewell. MENSIGHT Editor
Bitch in the house vs. Bastard on the Couch: Real Men Talking
While bitch and bastard are both unflattering terms, women's rights activists have redefined bitch as a term that angry men give to powerful women. A bastard however, as we all know, is still... a bastard. The "Bitch" gets to be "in the house" while the "Bastard" is relegated to being "on the couch," where, I presume, he will watch sports and drink beer all day.
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COYOTE... monthly column by Dick Prosapio
Forget the Numbers
"Here's the problem with the "numbers". We have, built into our psyches, an idea or concept of what these numbers represent. My father described his father as; "....an old, old man when he died." Yet he died in his 70's and my father was almost ten years older than that when he made that statement. In his 80's he didn't want to attend any of the "Golden Age Center" activities because there were; "........a bunch of old people there."
Go to Article            Coyote Archive

Guest Article... by Warren Farrell, Ph.D.
Highlights and Findings from Father and Child Reunion
Part 2
The Unspoken - and Often Unconscience - Contributions of Dads
Prior to doing the research for Father and Child Reunion, I knew dads were more likely to play, coach and roughhouse with their children. I did not know that in comparison to children raised by single moms, children raised by single dads are more likely to be assertive without being aggressive. (My expectation was that rough-housing might contribute to aggressiveness, not assertiveness.) Assertiveness without aggressiveness is one of the key qualities to being successful in work and life. It leads to better social skills and more friends; more self-confidence and less depression; less acting out…
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Guest Article... by Jed Diamond
Why Midlife Men Turn Mean
"It's like he's a different man," one woman wrote to me. "He had always been kind, considerate and caring. Now he treats us all so meanly. I don't understand it." "I love my wife, I really do," a man in his 40s confided, "but she drives me up the wall. She wonders why I get so angry all the time. What does she expect when she keeps hitting me in the head with a two-by-four?"
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DADS, DON'T FIX YOUR KIDS... monthly column by Mark Brandenburg, M.A
Fathers, Sons and Masculinity
My five-year-old son had a quirky smile that showed a mixture of pride and anticipation. He'd shown me his art project from school, and he wasiting for his mom. "Come on over and look at what Michael made," I shouted to my wife.
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Guest Article... by Wendy McElroy
Child Custody Laws Poised for Change
Senate Bill 730, which was abruptly withdrawn from consideration by the legislature would have countered a recent California Supreme Court decision that affirmed the rights of non-custodial parents in "move-away" cases. Examining how California came to this juncture is instructive because conflicts on this issue are poised to erupt elsewhere.
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JEFF'S LIFE... monthly column by Jeff Stimpson
The Pig-Headed Author
Over a family brunch, the subject of the book Alex comes up. Aunt Julie, as anybody in their right mind likes to do, takes a poke at her younger sibling. "Why is Jill's picture in the book?" she asks me. "It's your book!"
Go to Article             Jeff's Life Archive

Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women... by Alison A. Armstrong
The Temptress: Learning to Handle Your Own Fire Is Better Than Putting It Out
When I began studying men, I had no intention of learning anything about women, and I had no interest whatsoever in femininity. Little did I know I was about to be taught by the experts—men. Men know so much more about femininity than women. Funny, isn’t it? I began studying men in 1991 from the perspective of the question, “What if men are responding to women?” Well, they often are, and when we least expect it. Men especially respond to femininity in very powerful, predictable ways.
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TOWARD MANHOOD... A book in progress by Larry Pesavento
A Journey to the Wilderness of the Soul
From chapter 5 - Part 2... Addictions: Life Behind the Wall
Substance addictions are what most people think about when addiction is brought up. Addictive substances range from alcohol and hard drugs, such as heroin and cocaine, to 'soft' drugs, such as marijuana and tranquilizing prescription drugs, to tobacco and caffeine. Some experts call these addictions ingestive addictions, and include food under addictive substances. 
Read Chapter 5 - Part2

Go to New Reviews & Interviews... by J. Steven Svoboda.
Go to New Review... by Walter Wadas

MILITARY HONOR ROLL... Pay tribute to the Veterans or Active Duty military in your life on our perpetual Military Honor Roll page
Go to Military Honor Roll

FATHERS HONOR ROLL... Pay tribute to your father (grandfather, great grandfather, etc.) on our perpetual Fathers Honor Roll page
Go to Fathers Honor Roll

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MENSIGHT Magazine is another free service of The Men's Resource Network, Inc. (MRN). It has grown out of the response that we have received from articles posted on TheMensCenter.com (TMC), our official web-site. The first issue went on-line on May 1, 2000. (Archive)

MENSIGHT is dedicated to publishing diverse articles for and about men. We believe that there are valuable lessons to be learned from the advocates of all the various men's issues.

MENSIGHT will publish articles, stories and information that will be welcomed by many and controversial to others. We offer the magazine for your edification but you are free to disagree or reject what you do not like. Be advised that we do not necessarily agree with every position that is expressed here.

We hope that you will be entertained, informed, educated, stimulated, and/or motivated by what you read here. We seek to empower men to be the authority of their own lives. We do not seek to tell men what to think or feel.