MENSIGHT:
The Journal of Conscious Masculinity On-line Magazine of
TheMensCenter.com
A Service of the Men's Resource
Network, Inc
Now with over 500 Pages of male positive content
Psychologist
O'Connell knows firsthand how it feels to need a father
(having lost his own at an early age) and to be a father
(having three children himself). As a practicing therapist,
he's treated many fathers (and sons) over the years. His
experience makes this parenting book—with its chapters on
challenges like the "masculinity debate," sexuality, and
violence and authority—an essential guide. From the opening
pages, O'Connell acknowledges that being a father is
immensely complex, so "this book, therefore, aims less to
'advise' than to begin a conversation." From there, he
employs an easygoing tone, devoid of psychobabble or touchy-feelyism,
to sort through the currents of thinking about maleness and
fatherhood, pointing out where they run shallow, where deep,
and where ideas have foundered. The main strength of
O'Connell's method lies in its use of material from the
author's own history as well as from his psychotherapy
practice. Whatever the subject at hand—play, authority,
mortality, sex—he addresses it specifically and anecdotally.
The chapter on discipline, for example, opens with a memory
from the author's childhood, weaves in a strand of
information from his life as a father, adds material from
one of his client's experiences, then expands into a general
discussion of the issue. This approach allows readers to
digest the complexities bit by bit and even begin the sort
of dialogue the author desires. All fathers, and those who
have fathers, stand to benefit from this useful book.
From
Publishers Weekly
Dr.
Mark O'Connell received his doctorate in psychology from
Boston University and his post-doctoral training in
psychoanalysis from the Boston Psychoanalytic Institute. He
lives in Newton, Massachusetts, with his wife, Alison, and
their three children: Miles, Chloe, and Dylan. He has a
psychotherapy practice of adults, adolescents, and couples,
and serves on the faculty of the Boston Psychoanalytic
Institute and the Harvard Medical School. He writes and
speaks about fatherhood, family life, and masculinity.
Excerpt from
Big Russ & Me... by Tim Russert My Father's War
“It was a lot tougher for the guys who died.”
Not long ago, I took part in an online conversation hosted by the
Washington Post. As I sat at a computer, people around the country
sent in questions about Meet the Press and other topics, and I did
my best to answer them. Near the end of the hour, somebody asked if
there was one individual whom I would especially like to interview.
The person who submitted that question was probably expecting me to
name an elusive political figure, or perhaps a fascinating character
from history, such as Thomas Jefferson, Christopher Columbus, or my
first choice, Jesus Christ. But I took the question personally, and
answered it immediately and from my heart: more than anyone else, I
would like to interview my dad.
Read Excerpt
Guest Article... by Warren Farrell, Ph. D.
Why Dads Matter: The Revolution
Has Started. Heads Up. On Mother's Day the most phone
calls are made. On Father's Day the most collect phone calls are
made.
We still think of dads as wallets... or as deadbeats if they fail to
be wallets-- but reality is changing faster than the image. In the
last twenty years the percentage of single dads has more than
doubled, from 10% to 23% of all single-parent households. Almost one
in four. Moms moving out of the home has been a headline-creating
revolution; dads moving into the home has been the quietest
revolution. Without the headlines, we miss the revolution. A case in
point…
Go to Article
Guest Article... by Dr. Linda Neilsen Daughters:
Strengthen Your Relationship With Your Father Why is almost all of the advice on
father-daughter relationships directed only at fathers? Once
daughters have matured beyond childhood, why put so much
responsibility or blame on fathers when problems arise or when the
father-daughter relationship falls apart? Instead, let’s encourage
daughters to be more active in creating the kind of relationship
they want with their fathers by offering them a “roadmap through dad
territory”. Let’s teach young women the specific skills and the
non-sexist attitudes that enable them to strengthen their
father-daughter relationships.…
Go to Article
Guest Article... by
Marty Nemko Men's Career
Issues Most career issues apply to both
sexes, but a few are gender-specific. In honor of Father’s Day, here
are my thoughts on some men’s career issues.
Go to Article
COYOTE...
monthly column by Dick Prosapio It's Catching Up
I miss my dad. I thought it had just sneaked up on me, this
feeling, this yearning, for him, but maybe I set it up by the sudden
intrusion into my consciousness of this is my translation, "Way
Marie". I know that's not the real title of the song, but it's what
my kid memory of it is. "Way Marie, Way Marie" and then it went on
in Italian. Go to Article
Coyote Archive
THE NEW INTIMACY...
monthly column by
Judith Sherven, Ph.D. and James Sniechowski, Ph.D. Fertilize Your Love...
Winter's come and gone. And now,
how does your garden grow? No doubt it's survived some difficult
times during these past months, and yet it's still there waiting for
you to grab your favorite seeds, a bag of mulch, the trowel, and
your flowered gloves so you can transform it into this year's
paradise. That's not unlike the path of progress for romantic
relationships. They, too, go through challenging conditions followed
by new times of growth and expansion. Go to Article
JEFF'S LIFE... monthly
column by Jeff Stimpson
The Lot... I've been on this spot many
times with many different people. I picked the stone at a local
monument shop 27 years ago. For most of my life, "LeRoy A. Stimpson,
Father, 1917-1974" were the only words engraved on it, in black
letters on the gray granite, flecked with brown, dead lengths of
mowed grass. I was here many times with my mother, to what we always
called "the lot," helping her to lug water from the faucet up the
gravel road. Flowers need water. Go to Article Jeff's Life Archive
TRANSITIONS... monthly
column by
Kenneth F. Byers
My Fathers Tree... I miss my
father most, of course, around Fathers Day. At some level I always
miss my father, yet because of this visit, it will now be different
than it has ever been. There is a tree next to his grave that could
not have been more than a seedling when they first met. The tree has
given him shade which I am sure he would have enjoyed as no one else
could. Somehow, I am also sure, he has nourished that tree in
return. I wished him Happy Fathers Day and talked to him about his
grandchildren and all kinds of things that I thought he might like
to know. Go to Article
DADS, DON'T FIX YOUR KIDS...
monthly
column by
Mark Brandenburg,
M.A "Real" Fathers Day Gifts For Dads Fathers
are becoming more involved in their families today. They have a deep
desire to connect emotionally with their families. However, they
often lack the skills to do so. Here are ten “gift ideas” for
Father’s Day to help the father in your life to relax, enjoy, and to
connect with other loved ones: Go to Article
TOWARD MANHOOD...
A book in progress
by Larry Pesavento From chapter
10 Part 1...Midlife Brothers At
some point in a man's life he realizes that he is at a crossroads.
He may not know exactly what all the stakes are, but he knows he
must make some crucial decisions that will greatly affect the rest
of his life. This is a time in most men's lives toward the end of
the age of the father.
REVIEW: Why Men Earn More: The
Startling Truth Behind the Pay Gap—and What Women Can Do About It.
By Warren Farrell, Ph.D.
A new book
from Dr. Warren Farrell is of course eagerly awaited by all of us
who care about gender equity. I dare say that each of his books
represents an evolution since the publication of the previous one,
both in terms of Warren’s own growth and in terms of society’s
developing awareness of, and willingness to hear more regarding,
pertinent men’s and women’s (and people’s!) issues. READ FULL REVIEW
REVIEW: SPIN SISTERS: How the
Women of the Media Sell Unhappiness and Liberalism to the Women of
America. By Myrna Blyth
Every now and then, it’s fun to try something a little different.
Even if it isn’t quite your cup of tea, it keeps life interesting to
try walking in the moccasins of someone with whom you might have
previously thought you had nothing in common. Myrna Blyth has
written a book specifically designed for, and often directly
addressed to, politically conservative women. People such as myself
who don’t fit into these categories may seemingly have little to
gain from reading Spin Sisters. And in fact, Blyth could have
written the book differently in a way that would have carried the
same essential message while allowing her to speak to a wider
audience inclusive of males and non-conservatives. READ FULL REVIEW
REVIEW:TAKING SEX DIFFERENCES SERIOUSLY. By Steven E.
Rhoads.
University of Virginia public policy professor Steven E. Rhoads’
latest book purports to be a meticulously researched and elegantly
written, provocative and groundbreaking exploration of the masculine
and feminine. I found Taking Sex Differences Seriously to be
a solid though unexceptional book that makes a number of interesting
points. Career women, we learn, have higher average testosterone
levels. Rhoads provides interesting detail on how modern university
textbooks ignore women who choose to focus on volunteer and/or
homemaker careers, ironically implying that the only careers
acceptable for women are those traditionally defined (presumably by
the patriarchy) as successful. Along similar lines, the author
deftly points out the absurdity of prescribing and proscribing
activities for our children based on our political wishes. READ FULL REVIEW
MILITARY
HONOR ROLL... Pay
tribute to the Veterans or Active Duty military in your life on our perpetual
Military Honor
Roll page Go to
Military Honor Roll
FATHERS HONOR ROLL... Pay
tribute to your father (grandfather, great grandfather, etc.) on our
perpetual Fathers Honor Roll page Go to Fathers Honor Roll
MENSIGHT Magazine is another free service of The Men's Resource
Network, Inc. (MRN). It has grown out of the response that we
have received from articles posted on
TheMensCenter.com (TMC), our official web-site. The
first issue went on-line on May 1, 2000. (Archive)
MENSIGHT is dedicated to publishing diverse
articles for and about men. We believe that there are valuable
lessons to be learned from the advocates of all the various
men's issues.
MENSIGHT will publish articles, stories and
information that will be welcomed by many and controversial to
others. We offer the magazine for your edification but you are
free to disagree or reject what you do not like. Be advised that
we do not necessarily agree with every position that is
expressed here.
We hope that you will be entertained,
informed, educated, stimulated, and/or motivated by what you
read here. We seek to empower men to be the authority of their
own lives. We do not seek to tell men what to think or feel.
Dr.
Mark O'Connell received his doctorate in psychology from
Boston University and his post-doctoral training in
psychoanalysis from the Boston Psychoanalytic Institute. He
lives in Newton, Massachusetts, with his wife, Alison, and
their three children: Miles, Chloe, and Dylan. He has a
psychotherapy practice of adults, adolescents, and couples,
and serves on the faculty of the Boston Psychoanalytic
Institute and the Harvard Medical School. He writes and
speaks about fatherhood, family life, and masculinity.
At
some point in a man's life he realizes that he is at a crossroads.
He may not know exactly what all the stakes are, but he knows he
must make some crucial decisions that will greatly affect the rest
of his life. This is a time in most men's lives toward the end of
the age of the father.