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Book-of-the-Month... FEBRUARY 2006 |
Self-Made Man:
One Woman's Journey into Manhood and Back
by Norah Vincent
©2006 
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CLICK TO BUY |
For 18 months Ms. Vincent lived the life
of a man, among men, in several well-chosen, largely- or
exclusively-male situations (e.g., a men's bowling league, a
monastery, a high intensity, in-your-face sales job, and
others). She deftly distills deep understanding from the
clues she uncovers, to explain the limits that each gender
accepts upon their ability to live as their view of society
seems to dictate.
You are unprepared for all the veils she lifts on the
misunderstanding we live within, in our own gender, and -
more important - in our understanding of what makes the
other gender tick. You will recognize the truth of her words
by the way they resonate with your life, and you'll leave
this book knowing more about many facets of life that you
didn't know you didn't know. This book should become a
classic reference for every form of study involving gender
dynamics.
Come along for the ride; it's fascinating and - if you're
open minded - you won't be sorry. THOMAS SHAW
What is revealing about this book (and its
success) is how women are still baffled by men. Rather than
channeling her fascination with men into a standard feminist
assault ridiculing and demeaning our sexuality (a la Maureen
Dowd), Vincent takes a mostly compassionate approach.
Vincent presents a lot of unflattering female
characteristics she experienced undercover as if they were
revelations. Women are often rude and unapproachable. Women
consider men losers until proven otherwise. That she is just
discovering this common knowledge is an indication of just
how clueless women are about their own behavior. It also
raises the question: Why must all books about male
sexuality, gender and relationships be written by women? If
anyone wants to read a book from the male point of view, I
highly recommend
The Rantings of a Single Male by Thomas
Ellis. It's an example of a superbly written book that can't
get mainstream publicity because of the gender of the
author. For women not adventurous enough to tackle genuine
heterosexual male views, "Self-Made Man" offers a safe foray
into the male realm.
ANONYMOUS AMAZON REVIEW
As an old-school feminist, I began the
book with all the pre-conceived notions about men that we've
gathered over the years and hugged to our chests.
Bam! Norah Vincent dispels all of those and more in this
can't-put-down book. A woman posing as a man. Sensational?
Perhaps. However, Ms. Vincent has managed to write an
unbiased, often touching and frequently very funny book
about the lives men lead.
A lasting moment from the book, in my mind: Vincent's
description of a male handshake with another man, warm and
welcoming, v. a woman-to-woman hug and air-kiss, superficial
and fleeting.
Certainly a landmark book, especially for those of us women
who truly want to appreciate men and empathize with them.
M ROBERTS
Visit the
MEN & MASCULINITY section
of our
BOOKSTORE
Related articles about
MEN & MASCULINITY in MENSIGHT Magazine
ABC Video
Undercover as a Man
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Columns, Articles and Men's Issues News... |
MEN'S NEWS TICKER © 2000 - Disable pop-up blocker
and click on headline for story details
Book-Of-The-Month excerpt... by
Norah Vincent
Friendship...
As he
extended his arm to shake my hand, I extended mine, too, in a
sweeping motion. Our palms met with a soft pop, and I squeezed
assertively the way I'd seen men do at parties when they gathered in
someone's living room to watch a football game. From the outside,
this ritual had always seemed overdone to me. Why all the macho
ceremony? But from the inside it was completely different. There was
something so warm and bonded in this handshake. Receiving it was a
rush, an instant inclusion in a camaraderie that felt very old and
practiced.
Go to Article
Guest Article... by
Michael
Gurian
What is
a Man?...
Many of these tendencies have been identified in our
culture and studied from a social or psychological perspective. Let
us deepen our understanding of men by adding the biological
perspective. As we understand the core of manhood by means of
biological trends, we will be exploring the effect of these elements
of biology on male life:
Go to Article
Guest Article... by Jack Kammer
Drugs, Murders, Crime and the
Special Problems of Males...
The most apparent fact about the
current plague of drug-related murders racking America's inner
cities is that the vast majority of the people involved are Black.
Since most of us are oblivious to the gender-based problems of men
and boys, we attach no significance to the fact that they are also
Male.
Go to Article
Men's Worklife... by
Marty Nemko
Top Tips for
Workplace Dating...
I’m
far from the only fan of finding love at work. Fifty eight percent
of the 693 respondents to Vault.com’s 2006 Office Romance survey
said they had been in an office romance,
up from 52 percent two years ago. With
people spending ever more time at work, that’s no surprise.
Go to Article
Guest Article... by Glenn Sacks
The Rise in
‘Gray Divorce’: It’s Always
Hubby’s Fault...
In
both the United States and Japan, divorce among older couples is on
the rise. The American Association of Retired Persons detailed the
phenomenon among American seniors in a study last year, and Japan’s
wave of gray divorce is expected to swell into a deluge, since
Japanese women will soon be legally able to claim half of their
husbands' retirement pensions.
Go to
Article
COYOTE...
monthly column by Dick Prosapio
Just a "Normal" Trance...
There seems
to be more of this dodging reality than there used to be, and I
don't mean just through altering brain chemistry. TV cable and dish
systems and the consequent unlimited number of mind numbing
channels, iPods, computer games, Xbox, cell phones and the headsets
that go with them, MPG players, TV's in cars,....add to this all the
addictive substances, legal and illegal, marketed to the public and
what's left over?
Well; death I guess.
Go to Article
THE NEW
INTIMACY...
monthly column by
Judith Sherven, Ph.D. and James
Sniechowski, Ph.D.
The Romance in your
Differences...
The
season of high romance is here! Yet Valentine's Day can turn into
the most dangerous day of the year for love and romance.
Because none of us receive formal training or preparation for how to
date effectively or how to create a passionate long-lasting
marriage, the full burden of our desire for an intense, satisfying
love and passionate, swept away romance tends to fall on Valentine's
Day, with Cupid, The Florist, and The Candy Maker trying to fill the
bill. However, when fantasies of perfect romance, perfect gifts,
perfect love-making collide with not-so-perfect reality, love loses
out to broken dreams and broken hearts.
Go to Article
JEFF'S LIFE... monthly
column by Jeff Stimpson
Dinner Hour...
Jill gave me a child-rearing
book, Blessings of a Skinned Knee, which, among other tips of
real sense, advises that dinner hour is sacred.
I looked across the living room. Alex munching chicken nuggets by
hand and Ned absently spooning in white rice as he watched Toy
Story, his spillage mounting like a snow bank at his feet,
didn't spell "sacred."
Go to Article
DADS, DON'T FIX YOUR KIDS...
monthly column by
Mark Brandenburg,
M.A
"My Kids Should Always Obey
Me!"...
It’s
the perfect irrational statement for fathers to create more problems
in their families.
For many men, this kind of thinking takes them further and further
from their kids, and it creates a cycle of anger and frustration
that’s hard to break. But those who’d like to learn to manage their
anger can do so, especially if they follow these ten steps:
Go to Article
TOWARD MANHOOD...
A book in progress
by Larry Pesavento
From chapter 14
Part 1... Humility
 Last
chapter I talked about death, loss and depression. I talked about
the other side, outside the village. The place beyond the village
boundaries, the wilderness of the ancients, was a mysterious,
terrifying place. The boy had to grow up a great deal even in taking
those first few steps into the wilderness. He had to have great
trust in his elders and great faith in the ultimate benevolence of
the universe. He had to go the greatest part alone and with no clear
direction. He had to face death, a symbol for risking everything.
When he stepped into the world of men he left the childish boy
behind.
Read
Chapter
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Men's Book Reviews by J. Steven Svoboda |
NEW
REVIEWS
REVIEW:
Why Men Earn More: The
Startling Truth Behind the Pay Gap—and What Women Can Do About It.
By Warren Farrell, Ph.D.
A new book from Dr. Warren Farrell is of course eagerly awaited by
all of us who care about gender equity. I dare say that each of his
books represents an evolution since the publication of the previous
one, both in terms of Warren’s own growth and in terms of society’s
developing awareness of, and willingness to hear more regarding,
pertinent men’s and women’s (and people’s!) issues.
READ FULL REVIEW
REVIEW:
SPIN SISTERS: How the
Women of the Media Sell Unhappiness and Liberalism to the Women of
America. By Myrna Blyth
Every now and then, it’s fun to try something a little different.
Even if it isn’t quite your cup of tea, it keeps life interesting to
try walking in the moccasins of someone with whom you might have
previously thought you had nothing in common. Myrna Blyth has
written a book specifically designed for, and often directly
addressed to, politically conservative women. People such as myself
who don’t fit into these categories may seemingly have little to
gain from reading Spin Sisters. And in fact, Blyth could have
written the book differently in a way that would have carried the
same essential message while allowing her to speak to a wider
audience inclusive of males and non-conservatives.
READ FULL REVIEW
REVIEW:
TAKING SEX DIFFERENCES SERIOUSLY. By Steven E.
Rhoads.
University of Virginia public policy professor Steven E. Rhoads’
latest book purports to be a meticulously researched and elegantly
written, provocative and groundbreaking exploration of the masculine
and feminine. I found Taking Sex Differences Seriously to be
a solid though unexceptional book that makes a number of interesting
points. Career women, we learn, have higher average testosterone
levels. Rhoads provides interesting detail on how modern university
textbooks ignore women who choose to focus on volunteer and/or
homemaker careers, ironically implying that the only careers
acceptable for women are those traditionally defined (presumably by
the patriarchy) as successful. Along similar lines, the author
deftly points out the absurdity of prescribing and proscribing
activities for our children based on our political wishes.
READ FULL REVIEW
Archive of All Reviews & Interviews...
by J. Steven Svoboda.
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Guest Books |
MILITARY
HONOR ROLL... Pay tribute to the
Veterans or Active Duty military in your life on our perpetual
Military Honor Roll page
Go to
Military Honor Roll
FATHERS
HONOR ROLL... Pay tribute to your
father (grandfather, great grandfather, etc.) on our perpetual
Fathers Honor Roll page
Go to
Fathers Honor Roll
VISIT
MENSIGHT Magazine
is another free service of The Men's Resource Network, Inc. (MRN).
It has grown out of the response that we have received from articles
posted on
TheMensCenter.com (TMC), our official
web-site. The first issue went on-line on May 1, 2000. (Archive)
MENSIGHT
is dedicated to publishing diverse articles for and about men.
We believe that there are valuable lessons to be learned from
the advocates of all the various men's issues.
MENSIGHT
will publish articles, stories and information that will be
welcomed by many and controversial to others. We offer the
magazine for your edification but you are free to disagree or
reject what you do not like. Be advised that we do not
necessarily agree with every position that is expressed here.
We hope that you will be entertained,
informed, educated, stimulated, and/or motivated by what you
read here. We seek to empower men to be the authority of their
own lives. We do not seek to tell men what to think or feel.
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