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ABOUT BOYS
A MENSIGHT Feature
Issue
We have all read or heard the stories. An
adolescent school boy kisses a classmate on
her cheek and is suspended for sexual harassment. A female teacher rapes a 13 year old
male student and she receives little or no punishment. T-shirts are marketed to little girls that proclaim, "Boy's are
Stupid, Throw Rocks at Them!" Several young boys plot to kill
their classmates, their teachers and themselves. Another man reveals
that, as a young boy, he was sexually abused by a trusted religious
leader.
These are alarming reflections of some of the issues that boys face today.
Though I
have tried to present a broad look at boy's issues, this is by no
means a definitive collection.
Many of the issues
discussed here overlap and I have probably left others out. However,
there is enough evidence here to safely state that many boys are facing
serious issues in their lives. This is not an excuse for the harmful
behavior of some boys but an attempt to explain the reasons and look
for solutions.
Moreover, these issues are a warning.
Boys today are much like the canaries that use to be carried down in
mines to provide a warning about dangerous gasses. If a canary fell over
in it's cage, the miners knew that their lives were in imminent danger.
If the
canary-in-the-mineshaft metaphor is relative of the true state of
boys today then the crisis is even greater for African-American
boys. Their plight is reflected in the current worsening plight of
young black men. Erick Eckholm
in the New York Times writes, "Black
men in the United States face a far more dire situation than is
portrayed by common employment and education statistics, a flurry of
new scholarly studies warn, and it has worsened in recent years even
as an economic boom and a welfare overhaul have brought gains to
black women and other groups.
Focusing more closely than ever on the life patterns of young black
men, the new studies, by experts at
Columbia,
Princeton,
Harvard and other institutions, show
that the huge pool of poorly educated black men are becoming ever
more disconnected from the mainstream society, and to a far greater
degree than comparable white or Hispanic men."
We have been warned. Many
of our boys are staggering and others have already toppled over.
It's time to get out of the
mine... and bring our boys and ourselves safely to the surface.
Jim Bracewell, editor,
MENSIGHT Magazine |
|
 |
Books-of-the-Month... MAY 2006 |
 Reaching Up for Manhood:
Transforming the Lives of Boys in
America
by Geoffery Canada
Geoffrey Canada writes, "More and more I
have become concerned with what boys think they should be,
and what they believe it means to be a man." He explores,
through passionately observed storytelling, what we are
truly telling our boys about manhood. He lays out the little
understood and intertwined history of drugs and marketing to
inner city boys. Canada takes a hard look at the issues of
too-early sex and, through a pointed story of his own sexual
education on the streets, reminds us that the combination of
the same old urges with new cultural forces and mores has
resulted in a volatile sexual terrain for boys. He writes
indelibly of the young boy he once was, one desperately
needing a father's love, and of the crucial
issues-fatherhood, mentors, self-esteem, faith, healing, and
more-that must be negotiated as boys reach up for manhood. A
moving and revelatory report by a dedicated father and
gifted child advocate.
 Fist Stick Knife Gun:
A Personal History of Violence in
America
By Geoffrey Canada
Geoffrey Canada's voice is like that of no
one else writing in America today: "If you wonder how a
fourteen-year-old can shoot another child his own age in the
head and then go home to dinner, you need to know you don't
get there in a day, or week, or month. It takes years of
preparation to be willing to commit murder, to be willing to
kill or die for a corner, a color, or a leather jacket."
Fist Stick Knife Gun stands as one
of our most hard-won and brilliantly evocative books on
child violence in America.
Interview
with Geoffery Canada...
David
Gergen
Moving Toward Manhood...
DAVID GERGEN: You’re regarded as a social
pioneer. Your first book,
Fist, Stick, Knife, Gun is a minor classic today. And
now you’ve written in
Reaching Up for Manhood
about young boys trying to reach
reach manhood. Tell us about the streets.
What’s going on out there today?
Go to
Interview
 |
Boys Issues...
Articles and Facts |
FROM THE WHITE HOUSE
Fact Sheet: Helping America's Youth
Young Americans Are At Risk. While many trends in negative
risk-taking among youth are heading in the right direction, risky
behaviors, including illegal drug and tobacco use, violence and
early sexual activity, are still among the top causes of disease and
early death among youth. In addition, more children are growing up
in homes without a father present, and studies show that an
overwhelming number of violent criminals in the United States are
males who grew up without fathers. Research has shown that the more
children are connected to family, school, and community, the less
likely they are to engage in risky behaviors.
 |
Statistics show that boys are
at greater risk than girls for learning
disabilities, illiteracy, dropping out of school,
substance-abuse problems, violence, juvenile arrest, and early
death caused by violent behavior. Many adolescent boys also
struggle with literacy skills and aggressive behavior. Boys
often begin to fall behind girls in elementary school, which
leads to higher dropout rates and juvenile delinquency, and they
often show signs of behavioral problems early in life. As boys
grow older, risk behaviors such as alcohol and drug abuse become
more prevalent, and gang involvement increases.
|
|
The Department of Justice
estimates approximately 750,000 individuals are now members of
gangs
- one-third of which are under the age of
18. While gang membership among girls is becoming much more
common, the overwhelming majority of gang members are male -
representing more than 90% of the gang population in large
cities. Without prevention and intervention, these problems can
be passed from generation to generation. |
The President and Mrs. Bush are Committed to Helping
America's Youth.
| The President announced a new outreach effort, to be led
by Mrs. Laura Bush, to focus on young Americans,
especially young men, to help
ensure a successful future. During the next year, the
President and Mrs. Bush are committed to:
 | Highlighting the importance of focusing on at-risk
youth, especially boys;
|
| Educating parents and communities on the importance of
promoting positive youth development; and
|
| Informing parents and communities of strong and
successful prevention and intervention programs that work by
highlighting the efforts of coaches, pastors, and mentors
from around the country, especially those with programs that
focus on boys. |
|
BOYS AND SOCIETY
Article... by
Paul Nathanson
and Katherine K. Young © 2006
LEGALIZING MISANDRY
...
Males are not faring well at all in a society that is now focused
explicitly on the needs and problems of females and is often hostile
to the very possibility that males might have any distinct needs and
problems of their own. Rapid social change and depression have been
listed as causes of these problems, but the question is why these
factors affect men, especially young men, much more than they do
women.
Males are not
faring well at all in a society that is now focused explicitly on
the needs and problems of females and is often hostile to the very
possibility that males might have any distinct needs and problems of
their own. Rapid social change and depression have been listed as
causes of these problems, but the question is why these factors
affect men, especially young men, much more than they do women.
Go to Article
Related Newsweek feature:
THE TROUBLE WITH BOYS
BOYS TO MEN
Article... by Michael Thompson
Becoming
a Man by August...
The boy sitting next to me on the prop plane from
Toronto to North Bay was seventeen years old, a rising high school
senior with a slight beard. He had the misfortune to sit next to a
child psychologist, a so-called expert on boys, who would pester him
with questions for the entire trip about how he was spending his
summer, and why. “This is kind of like a final exam,” he observed,
trying to get me to relent, but I wouldn’t let go.
Go to Article
RELATED ARTICLES
BOYS & EDUCATION
THE "BOY CRISIS"
from
The Boys Project website
Since the late 1970's, young women have soared in college attendance
while young men have stagnated. Young men's literacy is declining.
Many young men are disengaging from school. Young men are less
likely to be valedictorians, to be on the honor roll, and to be
active in organizations like student government. Young men are more
likely to get D's and F's, to be suspended or expelled from school,
to drop out of school, and to commit suicide.
We are losing young boys to a sense of failure
that comes from schooling poorly adapted to their needs. We are
losing adolescent males to the depression that comes from feeling
neither needed nor respected. We are losing young men to life tracks
that include neither college nor any other energetic endeavor.
A large, sullen, poorly educated group of men will not keep
the nation vital in the twenty-first century. The nation needs the
energy, initiative, and ambition of its young men as well as its
young women.
BLACK BOYS: THE
SAD FACTS
By Rosa A. Smith
The American Association of
School Administrators
The most compelling case behind the vulnerability of
black boys in school comes from these selected findings
collected by the
Schott Foundation.
|
Expulsions and Suspensions: Consisting of only 8.6
percent of public-school enrollments, black boys
represent 22 percent of students expelled from school
and 23 percent of students suspended. |
|
Dropouts: Between 25 percent and 30 percent of America's
teen-agers fail to graduate from high school with a
regular high-school diploma. That figure climbs to over
50 percent for black male students in many U.S. cities.
|
|
Special Education: Studies have found that black
students nationwide are 2.9 times as likely as whites to
be designated as mentally retarded. They also have been
found to be 1.9 times as likely to be designated as
having an emotional problem and 1.3 times as likely to
have a learning disability. Since twice as many black
boys are in special education programs as black girls,
it is difficult to blame heredity or home environments
as the root causes for these figures. In some
metropolitan districts, 30 percent of black males are in
special education classes, and of the remaining 70
percent, only half or fewer receive diplomas.
|
|
Graduation: While 61 percent of black females, 80
percent of white males and 86 percent of white females
receive diplomas with their high school cohorts
nationally, only 50 percent of black males do so.
|
|
Juvenile Incarceration: One hundred and five of every
100,000 white males under 18 are incarcerated. That
figure is three times as high for black youth at 350 per
100,000. Also, more black males receive the GED in
prison than graduate from college. |
|
Unemployment: Nearly 25 percent of black youths 16 to 19
were neither employed nor in school, according to the
2000 census, nearly twice the national average for this
age group and six times the national unemployment rate.
|
Article... by
Michael
Gurian
Minds of Boys...
Because
the word crisis gets thrown around a great deal these days, it
deserves to be treated with suspicion. In fact, Kathy and I have
tried not to use it, thinking, “But so many boys are getting by just
fine. Can we really call the situation a crisis?” We’ve said, “Yes,
the Gurian and Stevens families endured, struggled, and overcame
their problems, but is it really a national or international
crisis?” We’ve looked back on the months after Columbine, during
which the Gurian Institute staff, along with many professionals,
were asked by the media to comment and to offer our analysis of what
happened and why. We learned then how using the word crisis can
generate unwarranted fear about children’s lives, a sensationalism
that can wound schools and families, that can spread hopelessness
and hinder necessary changes and healing.
Yet after all this we have ended
up using the term. Yes, we’re sorry to say, there really is a
crisis. And in this chapter we hope to convince you to use the word
not just as a negative alarm, but rather as an inspiration for
positive change. Here are some of the things parents and educators
are saying about the situation boys face in education today.
Go to Article
RELATED ARTICLES
BOYS AND VIOLENCE
Article... by
James Garbarino, Ph.D.
Lost Boys: Why our Son's Turn
Violent and How We Can Save Them
The 1997-1998 school
year will go down in American history as the turning point in our
country’s experience and understanding of lethal youth violence.
October 1, 1997, Pearl, Mississippi: after killing his mother,
sixteen-year-old Luke Woodham opens fire at his high school, killing
three and wounding seven. December 1, 1997, West Paducah,
Kentucky: fourteen-year-old Michael Carneal kills three students
at a high school prayer meeting. March 24, 1998, Jonesboro,
Arkansas: thirteen-year-old Mitchell Johnson and eleven-year-old
Andrew Golden open fire on their schoolmates, killing four of them
and a teacher. April 24, 1998, Edinboro, Pennsylvania:
fourteen-year-old Andrew Wurst kills a teacher at a school dance.
May 21, 1998, Springfield, Oregon: after killing his parents,
fifteen-year-old Kip Kinkel walks into the school cafeteria and
shoots twenty-four classmates, two fatally.
Go to Article
RELATED ARTICLES
BOYS AND FATHERLESSNESS
Article...
by Stephen Baskerville
Is There Really a
Fatherhood Crisis?
A generation of fatherhood advocates has emerged who insist that
fatherlessness is the most critical social issue of our time. In
Fatherless America, David Blankenhorn calls the crisis of fatherless
children “the most destructive trend of our generation” (1995, 1).
Their case is powerful. Virtually every major social pathology has
been linked to fatherless children: violent crime, drug and alcohol
abuse, truancy, unwed pregnancy, suicide, and psychological
disorders—all correlating more strongly with fatherlessness than
with any other single factor, surpassing even race and poverty. The
majority of prisoners, juvenile detention inmates, high school
dropouts, pregnant teenagers, adolescent murderers, and rapists come
from fatherless homes (Daniels 1998, passim). Children from affluent
but broken families are much more likely to get into trouble than
children from poor but intact ones, and white children from
separated families are at higher risk than black children in intact
families (McLanahan 1998, 88). The connection between single-parent
households and crime is so strong that controlling for this factor
erases the relationship between race and crime as well as between
low income and crime (Kamarck and Galston 1990, 14).
Go to Article
Article... by Glenn Sacks
Are Boys Really Better off Without
Fathers?...
Peggy Drexler’s new book Raising Boys
Without Men: How Maverick Moms Are Creating the Next Generation of
Exceptional Men contends that father-absent homes—particularly
“single mother by choice” and lesbian homes—are the best
environments for boys. Drexler recently told Good Morning America
that boys do just fine without dads, and her “maverick moms” always
seem to have a better way of handling their sons than dad would.
While Raising Boys may seem like a harmless, feel-good affirmation
for these mothers, it could have a damaging impact on children by
affecting both the choices women make and family law.
Go to
Article
RELATED ARTICLES
ABUSED BOYS
Article...
by: Jim Struve, L.C.S.W.
Socialization and it's Impact on Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse
Unfortunately, within our
culture there exists an underlying premise for boys and men that it is
O.K. for males to act on feelings but dangerous to express feelings:
males should have the capacity to "rise above" feelings & "move beyond"
adversities. This is a particularly important factor that influences how
a male will respond if he encounters a traumatic experience such as
sexual victimization. In fact, this cultural expectation actually
creates a kind of global "double bind" in which the concept of "male"
and "victimization" exist as oxymorons. Within such an environment, it
is extremely difficult for males to step forward and seek to address
very personal issues related to experiences of sexual victimization.
Go to Article
Article...
Child Health News
Abused boys may 'learn' that violence is an acceptable method of
conflict resolution in the home
According to a study in the
October 18 issue of the
Annals of Internal Medicine,
a history of childhood physical abuse may be common in men from
urban settings, and these men with physical abuse histories may be
more likely to commit domestic violence. The study found that the
childhood abuse was primarily committed by parents, with mothers
being the most frequent abusers.
Go to Article
Article...
by Daniel J. Sonkin
The Wounding of Male
Children
This year (2004) over a million and a half children will experience some
form of emotional, sexual, or physical abuse and at least a quarter
of these will be boys. But no matter what type of abuse a boy
experiences, the physical and psychological pain that it causes may
result in many different types of problems throughout his life. Most
commonly, the grown man continues to abuse himself and those closest
to him.
Many adults say, "Boys are flexible. They can handle it." Or "Kids
forget about it when they grow up." My interviews with hundreds of
men abused as children, however, have not proven this case. In fact
the majority of these child victims of abuse have suffered for
years. Many have numerous physical ailments, frequent nightmares,
troubled interpersonal relationships, and serious behavior problems.
Though many men try to forget their childhood experiences, the
memories and their associated feelings still affect their lives.
Go to Article
CIRCUMCISION OF
INFANT BOYS
Article...
by Ryan McAllister, Ph.D and Dan Sisan,
Ph.D
CIRCUMCISION : Health,
Sexism, and Human Rights
Not knowing much about circumcision, about
half of American parents today allow someone to circumcise their
boys.
Why? Appearance? Health? Cleanliness? Conformity? Parents often
state that they were motivated by conformity, either “so he will
look like [the dad]” or so that he “won’t be teased.” Can you
imagine other surgeries being performed on otherwise-typical,
healthy children merely for conformity? Perhaps a need of our own
plays a role in this choice we make for our children. Perhaps
knowing it was done to ourselves or our loved ones leads us to
rationalize that it was done for good reason.
Go to Article
GUEST ARTICLE... by
J. Steven Svoboda
Circumcision of Boys: A
Serious Male Health Problem
While rare in
Scandinavia and Europe, male circumcision is still common in North
America despite some reductions in frequency over recent decades.
The United States rate has declined from 90 to 60 per cent in recent
years and has fallen by 15 percent in five years. Canadian
circumcision rates differ dramatically from province to province but
the national average is around 25%. It is revealing that the
provincial rates have plummeted as each province discontinued
coverage under the National Health Service. Currently, only Manitoba
still pays for circumcisions.
Go to Article
RELATED ARTICLES
|
|
Regular
Columns, Articles and Men's Issues News... |
MEN'S NEWS TICKER © 2000 - Disable pop-up blocker
and click on headline for story details
Men's Worklife... by
Marty Nemko
Excise Anger from Your
Life...
Anger
destroys careers. It destroys relationships. You may think it lets
off steam or shows how passionate you are, but getting angry almost
invariably loses you more than you gain. Your bosses, co-workers,
romantic partners, and children may kowtow in the short run, but
they’ll increasingly try to avoid doing what you’d like them
to--it’s only natural for people to try to foil someone who tries to
intimidate them.
Go to Article
COYOTE...
monthly column by Dick Prosapio
Minor Trauma(s)...
This all
began some time ago when I noticed that my remaining teeth were
looking.uh, worn. Maybe "war torn" is a better phrase. And, never
mind the look of 'em, the nerve endings were getting closer and
closer to the surface resulting in unpleasant "feedback" while
eating.
Go to Article
THE NEW
INTIMACY...
monthly column by
Judith Sherven, Ph.D. and James
Sniechowski, Ph.D.
Don't Hide from Your Conflicts...
The first
blush of love is intoxicating. Every touch, every kiss, every
thought of one another is enough to quicken your heart and thrill
your spirit. You are perfect for one another. Or so it seems at the
beginning.
Go to Article
JEFF'S LIFE... monthly
column by Jeff Stimpson
Homemade Homework...
Alex has been waiting for
homework that engages him. A lot of the photocopied worksheets he
brings home have to do with identifying pictures, then coloring
them, based on the first letter of the word that names the picture,
such as "jet" or "jump rope" in the J weeks. If I prompt him, he'll
say the word matching the picture. Then he bears down with one
washable marker and colors the whole area of the picture, taking no
care to stay within any lines and not letting the marker up until he
has a blotch of color. I don't know what he thinks of it.
Go to Article
DADS, DON'T FIX YOUR KIDS...
monthly column by
Mark Brandenburg,
M.A
Fathers, Egos. and Youth Sports...
It
is incredible to experience the hope and fear that occurs when your
child steps up to the plate. While we say we’re satisfied with
whatever happens when our child performs, we don’t always tell the
truth. We like to see our kids excel. And when they don’t, it
reflects on us. But we must be careful in our reactions to our
child’s performance, because they intuitively know how we feel about
them. And in a country in which 70% of all kids quit their sport by
age 13, and never play it again (National Alliance for Youth
Sports), we must take great precaution when leading them into the
world of organized sports.
Go to Article
TOWARD MANHOOD...
A book in progress
by Larry Pesavento
From chapter 16... An
Answer to the Pain
 The
paradox of life is that we can run from pain or we can run toward
it. But we can never not deal with it. Like death and taxes, inner
pain cannot be avoided. The young, unguided boy instinctively runs
from pain and from his manhood. He runs, unless he finds an elder to
help him stop running and stand his ground. Most modern men's pain
is the pain of running from pain. This is neurotic suffering. It
serves no useful purpose to the man or his loved ones. It is a black
hole of suffering.
Read
Chapter
|
|
Men's Book Reviews by J. Steven Svoboda |
LATEST
REVIEWS
REVIEW:
Straight Talk for Men about Marriage:
What Men Need to Know About Marriage (And What Women Need to Know
About Men)
By Martin G. Friedman ©2006
The author has put together an appealingly presented, male-friendly
guide to improving the quality of our marriages. As Friedman is the
first to point out, this isn’t exactly rocket science. We need to
learn to do the basics. A marriage is a path to learning about
ourselves. Projecting our discontent onto our spouse doesn’t do
either of us any favors.
READ FULL REVIEW
PURCHASE
REVIEW:
Self-Made Man:
One Woman’s Journey into Manhood and Back Again
By Norah Vincent
Norah Vincent has produced a new
book whose simple underlying concept nevertheless seems to possess
all the potential power of, say, John Howard Griffin’s classic
Black Like Me, in which the Caucasian author masqueraded as a
black man and was astonished at the depths of the discrimination and
barriers he discovered. Author Vincent tries to do the same thing
for gender, dressing in drag as “Ned” and entering various supposed
male bastions to report on what she discovers.
READ FULL REVIEW
PURCHASE
REVIEW:
The Smart Couple’s Guide to the
Wedding of Your Dreams:
Planning Together for Less Stress and More Joy
By
By Judith
Sherven and James Sniechowski
Judith Sherven and James Sniechowski, husband-and-wife psychologists
and authors of three books previously reviewed by me in these pages
(The New Intimacy, Opening to Love 365 Days a Year, and Be
Loved for Who You Really Are) have just published a new book on
their favorite topic, love and marriage. In a literal sense, The
Smart Couple’s Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams covers a
narrower subject than any of their three previous books. But
actually, predictably enough given the authors’ excellent writing
skills and tireless, creative devotion to promoting passion, their
latest offering manages to transcend the limits of the genre of
wedding guides. Not seeing a book that went beyond the
technicalities of wedding planning and touched the spirit of the
event, they took the plunge and wrote it!
READ FULL REVIEW
REVIEW:
Partnering: A
New Kind of Relationship
By Hal Stone and Sidra Stone
© 2006
Hal and Sidra Stone are, like Judith Sherven and James Sniechowski
(whose latest book is reviewed elsewhere in this issue) a
husband-and-wife psychologist team who have written a number of
books and who travel the world giving workshops on their techniques
for improving one’s life and relationships. Partnering does
not represent a stunning advance on the authors’ previous work but
it does expand, in the specific context of relationships, on the
work they have helped pioneer in exploring the multiple selves each
of us contains through the voice dialogue technique.
READ FULL REVIEW
REVIEW:
The Prodigal Father: A True Story of Tragedy, Survival, and
Reconciliation in an American Family.
By Jon DuPre.
Jon DuPre’s achievement with “The Prodigal Father” is stupefying.
What this correspondent for Fox Network News has done is so simple:
He has told the story of his family of origin, consisting of two
brothers, himself, and his mother and father. As a novel, the book
would fail. For one thing, the plot would be utterly unbelievable!
But “The Prodigal Father” is billed as an “autobiography,” and
written with loving detail and self-revelation so honest and so deep
that took my breath away. As such, it is utterly compelling and
simultaneously completely credible.
READ FULL REVIEW
REVIEW:
Gendercide and Genocide
Edited by Adam Jones
© 2006
Apart from the rarest exceptions (such as the not-to-be-missed “Female
‘Circumcision’ in Africa: Culture, Controversy, and Change,” Edited
by Bettina Shell-Duncan and Ylva Hernlund), edited volumes tend to
be hit-and-miss affairs. It’s hard enough simply to find an
appropriate topic, to accumulate contributions that are varied
enough to provide interest but not so different that they work at
cross-purposes, and to publish the work. Maintaining a razor-like
focus as can easily be done with an individually authored book by
definition becomes almost impossible with an edited volume.
READ FULL REVIEW
Archive of All Reviews & Interviews...
by J. Steven Svoboda.
|
|
Guest Books |
MILITARY
HONOR ROLL... Pay tribute to the
Veterans or Active Duty military in your life on our perpetual
Military Honor Roll page
Go to
Military Honor Roll
FATHERS
HONOR ROLL... Pay tribute to your
father (grandfather, great grandfather, etc.) on our perpetual
Fathers Honor Roll page
Go to
Fathers Honor Roll
VISIT
MENSIGHT Magazine
is another free service of The Men's Resource Network, Inc. (MRN).
It has grown out of the response that we have received from articles
posted on
TheMensCenter.com (TMC), our official
web-site. The first issue went on-line on May 1, 2000. (Archive)
MENSIGHT
is dedicated to publishing diverse articles for and about men.
We believe that there are valuable lessons to be learned from
the advocates of all the various men's issues.
MENSIGHT
will publish articles, stories and information that will be
welcomed by many and controversial to others. We offer the
magazine for your edification but you are free to disagree or
reject what you do not like. Be advised that we do not
necessarily agree with every position that is expressed here.
We hope that you will be entertained,
informed, educated, stimulated, and/or motivated by what you
read here. We seek to empower men to be the authority of their
own lives. We do not seek to tell men what to think or feel.
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