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Girls Excel, but
Boys Need Nurture, too
by
Lori Borgman
©2005
Parents take note: Boys aren't showing up on the
radar screen like they used to -- little boys, big boys, high-school
boys, even college boys.
The playing field between boys and girls has been
officially leveled. Actually, the playing field now has a
significant slope.
In five short years, the U.S. Department of
Education projects that females will compose at least 60 percent of
the national student body. Females graduate at a higher rate than
males. Do the math (yes, you too, boys) and you will see that, in
the not-too-distant future, two-thirds of all bachelor's degrees
will likely go to women.
Three decades ago, college was a male preserve by a
lop-sided 55 to 45 margin. Today, women command the lead. Same
10-point margin, different powder room.
Females also constitute the majority of applicants
to both medical schools and law schools. We said you go girls, and
they did. And we're happy they did. But what happened to the boys?
It is a question being asked with such frequency
that First Lady Laura Bush plans to highlight programs for boys
during the President's second term.
In the much ballyhooed shortchanging of America's
girls that permeated the 80s and 90s, boys became silent
co-conspirators. It was guilt by gender. Somewhere between Take Your
Daughter to Work Day (you unfairly advantaged boys stay in your
seats) and the "Boys Are Stupid, Throw Rocks at Them" T-shirts,
posters and notepads, boys began lagging behind.A mindset took hold
that said, girls, move forward; boys, stay where you are -- and
watch out for flying rocks.
But boys knew all along who had the real edge in the
educational system, particularly in the early years. In most cases,
it was the girls who could color better, print neater and out talk
the boys by 200 words a minute. Girls were showered with accolades
for being obedient, sitting in their chairs performing fine motor
skill wonders while boys were called out for crawling beneath the
chair to find out if the center nut and bolt might be key to
dismantling the entire contraption. Call it the Huck Finn factor.
Better yet, call it the difference between the sexes.
Hormonally, chemically and neurologically males and
females are different. Ask any mother who has raised both sexes. She
may not be able to tell you which sex is easier to raise, but she
will be able to tell you they are markedly different.
The president of Harvard recently said there were
innate differences between the sexes and shot himself in the foot.
The Washington Post published a follow-up story about the president
being sorry he shot himself in the foot, and included nearly 20
inches of copy quoting researchers confirming innate differences
between the sexes.
It is high time to acknowledge that the emperor has
no clothes and that boys and girls are different. Boys do not need
to be rescued from themselves. They need to be boys and be nurtured
as boys.
If that means running and screaming and getting
dirty at recess, then get out the Band-aids and ready the Tide. Boys
need nurture just as much as girls, but often it is a different kind
of nurture.
It's time we got it right and gave both sexes a
strong hand up. The First Lady's goal to highlight plans for boys is
timely.
You go, girl.
And three cheers for the boys.
Lori
Bergmancan be reached at
lori@loriborgman.com
