The First Men's Rights
Congress:
Birds of a Feather?
by
Jim Bracewell
© 2004
The First National Men’s
Rights Congress was held on July 18-19, 2004 . I’m sure you
must have already heard about it via newspaper, the Internet, radio
and/or television. No? Well, I couldn't find anything in the media
either. Since I was there, I’ll do my best to bring you up to
date.
When
Tom Golden
called me about the conference I was intrigued. I knew Tom from
reading his book about men and grief, Swallowed by a Snake.
We also have occasionally exchanged email messages.
I was a bit apprehensive when Tom said the conference
was entitled “The First Men’s Rights Congress.” In the past I had
run across some men’s rights activists who seemed as spiteful as the
women they accused of being male hating “Feminazis.” It has never
seemed effective to me to fight hate with more hate.
Tom assured me that this conference was an attempt to
bring together the various aspects of the men’s movement in order to
work toward common goals. I have had that dream since 1989 when I
first got involved in the “Men’s Movement.” But it seemed
more-and-more impossible as time went by. The movement was and is
fragmented with hundreds of isolated men running a variety of
organizations that are often focused on a single issue.
I came into men’s activism through the "mythopoetic
wing" of the 80's men’s movement. The men I encountered helped me to
start healing the shame I felt about being a man. That powerful
beginning initiated my search for the source of my shame. As I
became more empowered, I realized that being a man did not make me a
bad person.
After attending the First Men's Movement Leadership
gathering in 1989 in Minnesota, I started a local Men’s Council with
monthly meetings. With the help of the men who joined the council,
we started several weekly support groups and a yearly statewide
men’s gathering in the mythopoetic style. We did all of the things you
may have read about in the media at the time. Such as, creating
ritual space, passing the talking stick and sweat lodges.
I should mention here that I have for some time been
confused about what to call this movement. When someone brings up
the Men’s Rights Movement, I believe that most people, including
myself, think they are talking about legal issues like divorce,
custody and/or visitation.
Then there’s the Men’s Movement of the late 80’s that
received so much media coverage. Because that coverage was often
mocking and critical, many people conjure up images of naked men
drumming and dancing around a fire circle. Having been to many such
men’s gatherings, I would like to correct those grossly mistaken
impressions. I was never naked.
The
groups that I started lasted for about eleven years and then seemed
to run out of steam. We couldn’t decide on a direction to head in
and we couldn’t seem to bring in many new people or keep the ones we
originally attracted.
I came to believe that there was too much emphasis on
indigenous-American ritual and culture. In my opinion, American men
from a wide variety of ethnic traditions cannot and should not try
to recreate or copy cultural
traditions that took thousands of years to evolve. It takes
community to do that and we had a very, very small community that
only met once a year. It needed to be more mainstream and relevant
to our contemporary culture. I finally turned over leadership and
began concentrating on my two male-positive
websites,
TheMensCenter.com
and
MENSIGHT Magazine.
Since becoming involved in men's issues advocacy, I
have read everything I can find that relates to men. Eventually, I
came to believe that there are many valid issues that men face
today. Issues such as:
Why is that? What are we men doing or not doing that
kills us sooner than women? My father died when he was 56 years old.
Could he have lived a fuller life if help was available? I’m still looking
for the answer.
It seems to me that we men first become aware that
there is a problem when we hit the men’s issues wall. I got involved
when I had a near death experience from recreational cocaine use and got into
counseling. Some men get a wake up call when they lose their home and
their children through a contentious divorce. Many have heart
attacks or other life threatening illness. Some men have experienced
a series of disastrous relationships. Many men just want to know why
they seem to be blamed for everything bad that happens.
It doesn't matter where they
start, men need to wake up to the dangers of being a male before
it's too late. I believe that these men need a
place or organization to go to for help, support and information.
That includes legal, emotional, psychological, spiritual, financial and medical
help. All men's issues are interrelated and need to be addressed.
I decided to go to the Men’s Rights Congress to see
if there was any hope of the fragmented men's movement finally
coming together. The first day was planned as a lobbying day. I had
to work that day so I could only go to the one-day conference on Saturday,
June 19, 2004.
The conference was held at the Carnegie Conference
Center in Washington, DC. I arrived shortly before the opening
statement by Glenn Sacks. Glenn is a
men's and fathers' issues columnist and a nationally-syndicated
radio talk show host.
His Side with Glenn Sacks,
can be heard on
KMPC 1540 AM in Los Angeles and on
KKOL 1300 AM in Seattle.
Here is the conference schedule:
Welcome – Tom
Golden
Glenn Sacks,
opening statement
Mike DeGenoulis (New Hampshire Men’s Commission)
Dave
Burroughs (Domestic Violence)
Carnell Smith (Paternity Fraud)
Stephen Baskerville
(Family Courts)
Dean Tong (False
Accusations)
First breakout session
Glenn Sacks - Male Bashing
Dave Burroughs - Domestic violence and men
Dan Lee - Law and Custody
Second breakout session
Jack Kammer - African
American Men and the Men's Movement
Ron Grignol - Helping Divorced Fathers See their kids
Michael Gough - Virtual Visitation
There were about 60 men present representing various
men's issues. Most of the viewpoints I had already heard or read
about. I didn't expect too much to be accomplished at this first
gathering. I was just glad that this seemed like a hopeful
beginning.
You might want to read the
Men's Rights Congress
online booklet. It
contains a more in-depth description of the issues and many of the
presenters.
I was gratified that throughout the day, I heard none
of what could be called women bashing or a polarized political
agenda. Many of the presenters made a point to say that they were
not opposed to women's rights. As Jack Kammer, author of Good Will Toward Men, said,
“This is not about the Left or the Right but about moving Up!”
After
returning home, I happened to hear a black television commentator
make a statement that, though it was about American politics, was
equally
relevant to what I came away with from the Men's Rights Congress. He said, “It takes a left wing and a
right wing for a bird to fly.”
In a real and metaphorical sense, I hope this (Men's
Rights Congress) bird
flies. What I heard from the men gathered on this day gave me hope.
Let’s learn how to fly together. It's vital that we do so for the
sake of all men, women and children.
Jim Bracewell, president, The Men's Resource
Network, Inc., a 501 (c)(3), non-profit org.
Visit The Men's Center.com:
http://themenscenter.com and
MENSIGHT MAGAZINE http://mensightmagazine.com
Copyright 2004 Jim Bracewell, all rights reserved
The First National Men’s
Rights Congress
"MEN AND BOYS DESERVE BETTER"
READ THE MEN'S RIGHTS CONGRESS BOOKLET
