Real Men Talking.
by
Jim Bracewell
© 2004
In the New York Times bestseller,
The Bitch in the House, 26
women expounded on the disappointment, frustration and anger in their relationships.
Soon after the book hit the top of the list,
Daniel Jones,
the "Bastard" husband of the "Bitch" author, compiled a male reply
The Bastard on the
Couch our MENSIGHT Book-of-the-Month.
While bitch and bastard are both unflattering terms,
women's rights activists have redefined bitch as a term that angry
men give to powerful women. A bastard however, as we all know, is
still... a bastard.
The "Bitch" gets to be "in the house"
while the "Bastard" is relegated to being "on the
couch," where, I presume,
he
will watch sports and drink beer all day.
In my opinion, the subtitles also
reveal a bit of cultural anti-male bias. The Bitch in the House: 26 Women Tell the Truth
About Sex, Solitude, Work, Motherhood, and Marriage vs. The
Bastard on the Couch : 27 Men Try Really Hard to Explain Their
Feelings About Love, Loss, Fatherhood, and Freedom. Powerful
women tell
the truth while bastards (men) must try really hard to explain their
feelings. This is equality?
Despite the possible misandrous leaning of the title, The Bastard on the
Couch is an
engrossing chronicle of the modern male dilemma. At least for the
dilemma of some males. Most of the
27 men and
26 women in both books are professional writers. What about the rest
of us?
MENSIGHT offers the following: We
would like to publish
similar stories but by men from all occupations and levels of
society. Women are empowered to complain
openly about men in the news media, in movies and on television. We
want to hear your complaints, your conflicts, your insights, your
regrets, your thoughts, your anger, your fear, your frustration... your story.
Half of marriages today end in divorce. Women file first in most
divorce cases and most often receive custody of the children. Women
and men are
waiting longer and longer to get married. Many young men, seeing
what happened to their parents, are terrified that they have a 50%
chance of
having a failed marriage too. They lived through the aftermath of
their parent's breakup and
wonder if it will happen to them.
In the new age of equality men must now must compete with women in
the workplace. However, the rules for dating have hardly changed.
Men are still most often expected to approach first and pay for the meals
and movies. If dating leads to marriage, men are still expected to
buy expensive
diamond engagement rings. Fathers are still expected to pay for
expensive weddings.
Married couples with and without children face problems their
parents never thought of. Do both partners work? How is the
housework divided up?
Who does the child care? How are the finances handled? Is she
living up to his expectations and is he living up to hers? The
stress level continues
to rise with no solution in sight.
How do couples cope when there are virtually no role models for
today's lifestyles? How do they communicate effectively? Should they
seek secular or
religious counseling? Should they emulate movies and television's
portrayal of relationships?
We don't expect you to
have the
answer to these problems. Though we would like to hear about it if
you do. Just tell us your story in your own words.
They will be published in MENSIGHT Magazine in a series called "Real Men Talking."
Here are our criteria.
1. Writer must be male.
2. Write honestly about your relationship experiences.
3. Avoid bashing women. We don't like it when men are bashed do we?
4. There is no limit on length.
5.
We will review all entries before publishing.
6.
We reserve the right to edit but you will be consulted before
publishing.
7. You may remain anonymous if you chose.
8. Please email
to mentalking@themenscenter.com.
Copyright 2004 Jim Bracewell, all rights reserved
