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No More Mr. Nice Guy website
Dr. Glover, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, with a doctorate
in Marriage and Family Therapy, is married to Elizabeth Oreskovich, a
psychotherapist who with Dr. Glover co-directs the Center For Healing
And Recovery. They have four children and make their home in Tacoma,
Washington.
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Guest Article... |
ARE MEN AND WOMEN
DIFFERENT ?
by
Robert A.
Glover, Ph.D. © 2005

On
January 14, 2005, Dr. Larry Summers, the President of Harvard
University did the unthinkable.
At an educational symposium, Dr. Summers stated that Jews are
inadequately represented in farming, that there aren’t many
Catholics in investment banking, and that whites are a minority in
the National Basketball Association. These comments brought a
firestorm of negative response from Jews, farmers, Catholics,
investment bankers and basketball players. The media fanned the
controversy with constant updates. As a result, Dr. Summers has
promised to soften his style and be more thoughtful about his public
remarks.
In reality, no one paid attention to any of these comments. No Jews,
Catholics, basketball players, farmers or investment bankers stalked
out of his presentation or gathered in angry protest.
But in the same presentation, Dr. Summers, a former US Treasury
Secretary, responded to a question as to why women are inadequately
represented in higher education in the fields of math and
engineering. Dr. Summers suggested this situation might be the
result of a number of factors, including women not being willing to
make the sacrifice required to achieve these positions (working 80
plus hours a week, etc.), socialization, and the possibility that
men and women might have different aptitudes when it comes to math
and science. Dr. Summers prefaced his remarks by conceding that he
“may be wrong,” and this was his “best guess.” He also stated that
his intent was to stimulate discussion on the subject.
After a University of Washington Engineering professor stalked out
of Dr. Summer’s presentation in protest, feminist groups, Harvard
professors, and the national media have had a hey day with Dr.
Summer’s speculation that in some ways, men and women might be
different.
Some members of Harvard’s faculty have angrily called for his
resignation. Summers, noted for his confrontive and challenging
style of leadership has been involved in a month long back-pedal and
mea culpa. He has offered several apologies, consulted numerous
management experts (including Bill Clinton), started reading
management skills books, promised to soften his style, and even went
to see the movie “Hitch.”
Ironically, the majority of undergraduate students at Harvard
support Dr. Summers and a class he teaches is one of the most
popular on campus.
The average person outside the ivy covered walls of academia might
be wondering, “what’s the big deal?”
The big deal is that feminist politics control most major
universities in this country. Dr. Summers stomped on the Holy Grail
of feminist educational philosophy – i.e., girls and boys are born
exactly the same and any observable differences in men and women are
the result of discrimination and social conditioning not inherent
genetic wiring.
I was taught this “truth” in my graduate level human development
courses at a state university in the early 80’s. My professors
confidently asserted that a child’s mind is a “tabula rasa,” or
“blank slate.” Acting is if any debate on the influence of nature vs
nurture had long been resolved, my teachers confidently asserted
that little boys and little girls are born with identical
temperaments and potentials, and that families and society imprint
gender expectations upon these impressionable minds. Thus, it was
merely culture that forced little girls to be passive nurturers and
little boys to be aggressive risk takers. In these discussions, the
male traits of aggression and competition were always cast in a
negative light.
The rationale of this feminist based view of society and human
development was that if we could remove the harmful effects of
gender socialization, then women could grow up and be whatever they
wanted. This utopian view of culture promised a world where even the
least intelligent girl could grow up to be a nuclear scientist and
the least attractive could find unconditional love from prince
charming.
Oh yes, and the world would be freed from the tyranny of the
patriarchy (don’t get a feminist going about the “patriarchy.”) Boys
would no longer grow up to be bad men who rape women, destroy the
environment and start wars (I’m not making this up).
The goal of this educational philosophy was to remove the bad
“aggressive” traits of little boys and therefore allow little girls
to blossom and grow without the restraint of having to compete in a
male dominated world.
In this educational context, “competition” was a dirty word, one
that had to be eliminated from all educational contexts. This bad
word was replaced with a much nicer word; “cooperation.”
Competition, a male trait, was seen as the cause of all the
injustice that women suffered in the world. Therefore, games that
encouraged competition, like red-rover or kickball were banned
(choosing teams was deemed detrimental to children’s self-esteem).
Teams of students were encouraged to work together to spell words or
solve math problems. Students were given praise for effort, even if
they got the answers wrong, since getting wrong answers was
detrimental to one’s self-esteem. My graduate professors promoted
the “soft” sciences – art, music, poetry – as apposed to the “hard”
sciences – math, chemistry and biology – because the former were
“feminine” endeavors (i.e. good) and latter were “masculine” (i.e.
bad).
Most of my classmates were education majors, i.e. school teachers.
Since the majority of students in these classes were either women,
or sensitive new age guys (like me) we all bought into this
philosophy because it was presented as fact and it fit our post 70’s
desire to make a better world; starting with the children.
Before my son Grant was born in 1985, I stated that regardless of
his gender, I would raise him the same without socialized pressures
to adopt either feminine or masculine traits. I bought him a Cabbage
Patch Doll. I tried my best to make sure none of my expectations of
him were gender based. I didn’t push him into sports and we tried to
limit his contact with toy guns and violent video games.
But, even with my best intentions, I failed miserably. Grant grew up
to be a competitive, over-achieving young man. He excelled in
several sports. At age 14, he was an AAU national weight lifting
champion. He was the starting middle linebacker for three years for
his high school football team. He was president of DECCA. At 19, he
is now a corporal in the US Marines serving his country in Iraq.
He’s a great young man (all male) -- I don’t know where I went
wrong.
Fast forward 20 plus years after my graduate school training. I
thought that perhaps this nonsense of boys and girls being born as
blank slates had finally been driven from the halls of academia.
Scientific study has shot this assertion full of holes. There are
many innate physical and emotional differences between the genders,
and science bears this out. The nature/nurture debate has yet to be
resolved, and this is a good thing.
Nevertheless, in light of the Dr. Summers scandal, I discovered that
the feminist myth of the “tabula rasa” continues to be taught as
fact in our institutions of higher learning.
In an article about the Dr. Summers situation at Harvard, the New
York Times quoted Dr. Howard Georgi, a physics professor at Harvard
as saying, “It’s crazy to think that it’s an innate difference. It’s
socialization. We’ve trained young women to be average. We’ve
trained young men to be adventurous.” (New York Times, February 18,
2005)
When I read Dr. Georgi’s statement, it was de ja vu all over again.
Many of us might questions, what’s the big deal? Does anybody really
buy into this nonsense outside of a few women’s studies programs and
the faculty at a few Ivey League universities?
The answer is “yes.” It is bigger than it might appear.
In Part 2 of this article (In MENSIGHT next month), I will explore the impact of this
philosophy on our education system and the effect it is having on
boys and girls. Stay tuned.
Robert A.
Glover, Ph.D. © 2005 |
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