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Dr. Linda Nielsen is the author of Embracing Your Father: Strengthening Your Father-Daughter Relationship (McGraw Hill, spring 2004). (McGraw Hill, March 2004) She is a professor at Wake Forest
University and author of the 700-page textbook, Adolescence: A Contemporary View which
sold more than 60,000 copies. Having worked with adolescent and young-adult daughters for
over 30 years, since 1990 she has been teaching the only college course in the country devoted
exclusively to father-daughter relationships. Through her course she has helped hundreds of
young women strengthen or reestablish their relationships with their fathers – especially
daughters whose parents are divorced. The recipient of several awards for her research and
writing, she conducts seminars and serves as a resource for fathers, daughters, and practitioners
through her web site. www.wfu.edu/
~nielsen.Linda Neilsen © 2003

Embracing Your Father: Strengthening Your Father-Daughter Relationship (McGraw Hill, spring 2004)

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Fathers and Daughters: Eye Opening Facts
By Dr. Linda Neilsen © 2004

We strengthen father-daughter relationships by making ourselves aware of the facts and freeing ourselves from the demeaning myths about men as parents. Recent national statistics and research from the most well respected experts in psychology and sociology, show that……….

Fathers generally have as much or more impact as mothers in the following areas of their daughters’ lives: (1) achieving academic and career success—especially in math and science (2) creating a loving, trusting relationship with a man (3) dealing well with people in authority—especially men (4) Being self-confident and self-reliant (5) Being willing to try new things and to accept challenges (6) Maintaining good mental health (no clinical depression, eating disorders, or chronic anxiety) (7) Expressing anger comfortably and appropriately—especially with men

Because our society emphasizes the importance of mother-daughter relationships more than father-daughter relationships, most fathers and daughters do not ever get to know one another as well or spend as much time together throughout their lives as most mothers and daughters.

Most children’s books, TV programs, and movies send the message that fathers and daughters are not supposed to know each other as well or spend as much time together as mothers and daughters.

Daughters who are raised by single fathers are just as well adjusted and as happy as daughters raised by single mothers.

Fathers and daughters are usually closer when the mother works full time outside the home while the children are growing up.

Most fathers want to spend more time with their children, but can’t because of their jobs.

Realities: (1) Eighty percent of the fathers in our country earn most of the money for their families. (2) Counting the time spent commuting, working, doing house and yard work, and being with the kids, the average father has 5 hours less free time each week than the average employed mother. (3) On average, employed fathers work 10 more hours a week than employed mothers.

A father usually has a closer relationship with his daughter when the mother lets everyone in the family know how much she appreciates his ways of parenting—especially if his way of parenting isn’t exactly like hers.

A daughter has a better relationship with her father when her mother does not rely on her for advice or comfort on adult issues—especially issues involving the parents’ relationship with each other.

When parents are unhappily married or divorced, the daughter is more likely to side with her mother and against her father.

Some mothers feel uncomfortable or jealous with the idea that their daughter might share as much time or as much personal information with her father as she does with her mother.

The mother who had a distant or unloving relationship with her own father is usually more jealous and more unsupportive of her daughter’s having a close relationship with her father.

Dr. Linda Nielsen is the author of Embracing Your Father: How to Strengthen Your Father-
Daughter Relationship. (McGraw Hill, March 2004) She is a professor at Wake Forest
University and author of the 700-page textbook, Adolescence: A Contemporary View which
sold more than 60,000 copies. Having worked with adolescent and young-adult daughters for
over 30 years, since 1990 she has been teaching the only college course in the country devoted
exclusively to father-daughter relationships. Through her course she has helped hundreds of
young women strengthen or reestablish their relationships with their fathers – especially
daughters whose parents are divorced. The recipient of several awards for her research and
writing, she conducts seminars and serves as a resource for fathers, daughters, and practitioners
through her web site. www.wfu.edu/~nielsen.