Do Men Need to be
Wary of Women?
by
Marty Nemko © 2008
Carnell Smith |
A recent guest on
my radio show was
Carnell Smith,
an expert on
paternity fraud. He claimed
that 30% of men who went to blood banks for paternity tests found
that they were not--as the child's mother claimed--the father. Smith
went on to say that in most states, DNA evidence, in many cases is
inadmissible. He estimated that, currently, one million men are
paying child support for kids they did not father.
Of course, it's outrageous that 30 states would enact such
unfair-to-men laws. But why would a woman falsely claim that a man
is the father of her child when he isn't, thereby forcing him to
unfairly pay many thousands of dollars in child support, and
manipulate him into spending 18 years involved in raising a child
who he didn't father? Smith says that these are the major reasons:
Of course, some men do despicable things to women.
That's not the point. The media has made us aware (ad nauseam) of
the ills men perpetrate on women. In this post, I'm trying to bring
to light the much underreported ills that many women perpetrate on
men. While most women, like most men, are good people, women are
unfairly cruel to men more often than many men think. It needn't be
as extreme as paternity fraud. For example, it can simply be your
wife or live-in girlfriend dissembling (consciously or not) that
she's not viable in the workplace so she can only work part-time on
some pleasant job like teaching flute lessons, and that you need to
be the beast of burden, working 40-60 hours a week on a job you
might not like, but you need to do to pay her expenditures.
I want to reiterate that I believe that the majority of women, like
the majority of men, behave ethically and lovingly to their romantic
partner. But many don't. And many guys are naive to that because the
media focuses on the ills that men do to women but not vice versa.
Men have also been conditioned to believe they're oppressors of
women.
So, men, be vigilant to being taken advantage of by a woman, and if
you believe it likely that you are being treated unfairly,
don't--before being convinced you're wrong--cave when she pulls out
the ploys: crying, withdrawing, yelling, and yes, playing the gender
card by calling you "sexist" or "misogynist."
Dr. Marty Nemko © 2008
Dr. Marty Nemko is a career
and personal coach in Oakland, CA. 400+ of his published writings
are free on
www.martynemko.com.
Marty Nemko is
co-president of the National Organization for Men:
www.orgformen.org
email Marty at
mnemko@comcast.net
His column appears on Page 1 of
the Sunday San Francisco Chronicle's employment section. It ran for
three years on the front page of the classified section of the
Sunday Los Angeles Times.
Many of his writings have been
published online on monster.com, careerbuilder.com, aol.com, and
msn.com.
He is a frequent guest on CNN,
ABC, and PBS. He is the regular career and education expert on CNN
Local Edition.
He is in his 17th year as the
regular career and education expert on the Ronn Owens Show,
the #1 rated talk show in Northern California. He has been the
primary source for dozens of articles, including in the New York
Times and Washington Post.
He is in his 16th year as host of
Work with Marty Nemko, a popular talk show on an NPR
affiliate in San Francisco.
He holds a Ph.D. from UC Berkeley
and subsequently taught there.
Copyright 2004 Marty
Nemko, all rights reserved
