Child Abductor Demands That
Military Dad
Post $100,000 to See His Own Son
By
Glenn Sacks
© 2005
Out of the endless
injustices our family law system has visited upon children and the
fathers they love and need, few match the story of Gary S. and his
son. In my column The Betrayal of the Military Father (Los Angeles
Daily News, 5/4/03) I wrote:
"When Gary, a San Diego-based US Navy SEAL, was deployed in
Afghanistan in the wake of the terrorist attacks on the World Trade
Center, he never dreamed that his service to his country would cost
him his little son. Gary's son was not taken from him by a terrorist
or a kidnapper. This 17-year Navy veteran with an unblemished
military and civilian record was effectively stripped of his right
to be a father by a California court.
"Gary's story is not an unusual one. Under the Uniform Child Custody
Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act, if a parent takes a child to a new
state, that new state becomes the child's presumptive residence
after six months. Because a normal military deployment is six months
or more, if an unhappily married military spouse moves to another
state while the other spouse is deployed, by the time the deployed
spouse returns the child's residence has already been switched.
Since courts lean heavily in favor of a child's primary caregiver
when determining custody, the spouse who moved the child is
virtually certain to gain custody through the divorce proceedings in
that new state.
"Because of the strict restrictions on travel by active military
personnel, the cost of legal representation, and the financial
hardships created by child support and spousal support obligations,
it is very difficult for returning service personnel to fight for
their parental rights in another state. Many struggle even to see
their children, much less remain a meaningful part of their lives,
and the bond between the children and their noncustodial parent is
often broken for years, if not permanently.
"Gary has not been able to see his son, who now lives abroad, in
nearly nine months. When he calls he can sometimes hear the three
year-old ask 'when daddy come?' and 'where's daddy?' in the
background but he is often prevented from speaking with him...
"Gary has lost nearly $100,000 so far fighting for his son and may
soon be forced to declare bankruptcy, which in turn will destroy the
top secret security clearance he needs for his job. Worse yet is the
emotional devastation wrought by his separation from his son and the
knowledge that he may never see him again. He says:
"'My love for my son cannot simply be brushed aside as the courts
seem to believe it can. I can remember holding my little son's hand
like it was yesterday. I can remember his cry. I hear it every time
I hear another child crying.'
"'Sometimes I wonder what I risked my life [in Afghanistan] for. I
went to fight for freedom but what freedom and what rights mean
anything if a man doesn't have the right to be a father to his own
child?'
Gary's former wife abducted his son to Israel while Gary was in
Afghanistan in November of 2001. Last year a California court
admitted that it erred in allowing this injustice to occur and in
permitting the jurisdiction for the case to be moved to Israel. In
the three years since, Gary has waged a long, hard battle to be
allowed to visit his son and have his son visit him in the US.
Gary has repeatedly received excellent reviews from all relevant
evaluators, psychologists, and social workers. His ex-wife's father
is very wealthy and has used his fortune to finance his daughter's
attempts to eliminate Gary from his son's life. Gary has had to
finance everything--including trips to Israel at $5,000 each--out of
his Navy SEAL salary.
Last May an Israeli judge agreed that Gary's son should visit him in
the US for Christmas. The ex-wife protested and demanded a new
psychological evaluation, which the judge granted. The evaluation
came back firmly on Gary's side. Those familiar with our family
court system already know what I'm about to write--the mom didn't
allow the visit anyway.
Now Gary is fighting to have his son spend two weeks with him over
this coming summer. The ex-wife is demanding that Gary put up
$100,000 bond for the visit, knowing that Gary has nothing close to
that amount of money. (One of the reasons he doesn't is that for
many years he paid $2,150 a month in "child support" to his ex-wife
to help finance her abduction of his son). In a classic case of
psychological projection, the woman who abducted the child wants
Gary to post the money so--guess what--Gary won't keep the boy in
the U.S.
Mom is also demanding that she be allowed to come to the US to be
with her son while the boy is visiting his father (so she can
interfere and alienate) and (of course) is demanding that Gary pay
for it. Gary is having to fight all of this out on limited funds in
Israeli courts in a language (Hebrew) he doesn't speak.
Gary lost his son while he was risking his life to help wipe out Al
Qaeda, the enemy of both the U.S. and Israel. Yet neither the US nor
Israel has lifted a finger to help reunite Gary with the son who
loves him and needs him. Thanks, soldier...
Glenn Sacks' columns on men's and fathers' issues have appeared in
dozens of America's largest newspapers. Glenn can be reached via his
website at
www.GlennSacks.com or via email at
Glenn@GlennSacks.com.
Copyright 2006 Glenn
Sacks, all rights reserved
