In the Company of Men
by
Dick Prosapio © 2003
Just a little while ago I spent a weekend in a
workshop on sexuality with men.
Just men.
Once, it seems another lifetime ago, such a
prospect would hardly have been an attractive alternative to say, a
movie, a few drinks in a new bar, a possible date with someone who
had possibilities, a long drive into the desert, a backpacking trip,
a... well, you get the idea. It would not have been anywhere near my
top ten list of things to do on a weekend. Or any time for that
matter.
But I've come a long way since that other life,
the one before beginning to discover what men, and, as it followed,
I, was all about. But that's another story for another time.
This weekend happened in this lifetime and was
hugely anxiety provoking in the anticipation, and hugely rewarding
in the outcome. Risking ones "significance", appearing foolish is
always a sure anxiety producer and only when we're in control of the
degree of foolishness we will allow do we feel "safe" enough to do
it. Either that or we're Robin Williams and getting paid for it.
Right up there with being embarrassed in front of
a woman we're trying to impress is being embarrassed in front of
friends. But topping the list is being emotionally naked in front of
a group of men with whom you're spending a weekend. And doing it
voluntarily not because you're in the Marines. Not because there's
someone shaking a finger in your face daring you to "get real", and
shaming you if you don't come clean.
Whatever that means.
That's what made this weekend special. Men came
from as far away as Wyoming and Chicago to talk about male
sexuality. Their own. And to do more than talk. What they embarked
upon was a process that challenged them to express themselves
through movement, dance actually, and not the usual
let's-get-down-and-boogie. No, this was movement calling on deeper
resources than that. This dance calls upon what is real about
us and is far beyond how we have learned to be. Far beyond the
performance we have polished over the years so that we will be
acceptable to one and all. And of course ourselves.
I can't really tell you how we did it, not because
I want to keep it some sort of cult secret, but because explanations
will fall far short of the experience. But I can tell you this, each
man danced his real Self and the range of expression ran from the
wild beauty of male sexuality to the grace and body mastery of male
power to the heartbreaking, sobbing, and pain-filled release of a
small, fearful boy locked up in a man's body for over thirty years.
I have no other word to use other than to say that
it was a powerful time and, there was no foolishness in it... there
was only courage. Wonderful, incredible, courage... as during
that weekend we danced the Wise Fools into existence.
Dick Prosapio ©2003, All Rights
Reserved
