Family, Friends and Even Mentors:
Are They On Your Side
Part 2
by
Judith Sherven, Ph.D. and James Sniechowski, Ph.D.
© 2007
As we said last month, Mark Twain
already said it -
"Keep away from people who try to
belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really
great make you feel that you, too, can become great."
And again, we want to underscore that
Twain didn't say how to identify those people who "belittle your
ambitions". . .
OR how to stay away from those people
while still staying in integrity and not burning important bridges
in your business, with your family or with "friends."
So this month, as promised, we're
going to cover what you need to look for in even your closest
relationships to make sure you aren't sabotaging your future by
allowing yourself to be mistreated.
Before we give you a checklist (next
month) to help you stay alert, we want to compassionately make you
aware of the very real, unconscious psychological land mines that
occupy the minds and hearts of many people, perhaps some that you
must deal with on a daily basis, perhaps some you love.
A couple of years ago we were guests
on a television show in Albany, and the guest before us was a
psychologist who specialized in serious emotional illness. This is a
summary of her message: "40 percent of adults in the United States
suffer from some form of serious emotional illness. Most of them are
fully functioning, meaning they hold down jobs, get married and have
children. But they have serious problems handling certain issues in
their relationships."
She went on to say that the mistake
that most people make is that they assume that everyone is sane and
caring. But that's not true. And it's not because these 40% are
malicious. It's because they feel seriously deficient.
Consequently they're envious and
deeply threatened by friends, family members, and colleagues at work
who are doing better than they are.
So they unconsciously feel the need
to pull you down if you are the person who is getting ahead faster
than they are. They shoot you with little digs, barb you with
"jokes" at your expense, and fail to support your ambitions with
passing comments about how you're not good enough to get that raise
or that cute guy . . . or . . .you name it.
So this month, look around you, and
examine who you can trust to truly support you. And who you can't.
Who makes you feel uneasy . . . even
if it's just once in awhile and even if you don't know why? Who
blames you, and never themselves, when things get mixed up or become
troublesome?
AND who always celebrates your
success? Who's consistently watching your back? Who loves you, truly
loves you for who you really are?
Pay attention. Pay close, close
attention. Your future depends upon it.
....part 3 next month
Bestselling authors of four
relationship books, Judith Sherven, PhD and James Sniechowski, PhD
have redefined the future of weddings. From now on brides AND grooms
will be co-partners every step along the way. Be sure to read your
complimentary 2-chapter excerpt from their new book, "The Smart
Couple's Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams." Just go to http://www.smartweddingcouples.com
Enjoy relationship information at
www.themagicofdifferences.com
For more information about Judith & Jim go to
www.thenewintimacy.com
To book Judith & Jim for a media appearance, corporate training, or
private
coaching contact them at
jimjude@direcway.com
