What Ever
Happened to the Men's Movement?
by
Kenneth F. Byers © 2005
What the hell are men's issues anyway?
This may surprise many readers, but during the mid to late 1980's and for
most of the 1990's there was a movement across America, Canada and much of
Europe known as the Men's Movement. I remember it because I was very active in
it. It was largely a response (rather than a reaction) to the Women's movement
of the same time period and was largely supportive of it but far less vocal.
Unlike the women's movement which had a fierce political agenda of equality and
recognition, the men's movement was unled and issue fractured. It had many
branches that spoke to many different issues such as custodial rights,
parenting, addiction, abuse, friendship, veterans affairs, issues of male
disability, spirituality, parenting, age discrimination, violence, prison
reform, rites of passage, gay issues, step-parenting, health issues, career
issues, and many more. Far and away the most popular format for addressing these
issues came from the academic arena and became known as the "Mythopoetic"
movement. It was led to some large degree by poet Robert Bly and based in
the poetic and mythological interpretation of gender reality and guided by
Jungian psychological theory and practice. It found its greatest support in the
academic world, that was already having its own problems relating to society on
an everyday basis. It's lack of longevity is probably laid to the fact
that it is hard to explain to a man who has just lost his job, his wife,
his passion for life, that the solution to his problems lie in examining the
literary search for the holy grail.
All this activity followed a decade of great social upheaval and an opening
of issues for discussion that had heretofore been labeled taboo. It was an
opportunity for men to grow and expand under the same banner of open debate that
reflected the interests of feminist rights, desegregation and religious
tolerance. But somewhere along the way, much like the feminist
movement, it got bogged down in social apathy and special interests and lost its
direction. It was also a victim of the negative media which found it more
profitable to base sitcom jokes and story lines on self- denigration rather than
men's desires to understand themselves and their world. It is very
difficult to address serious inner issues while the world is laughing at you
regardless of the fact that most of the laughter was previously recorded and
applied to the film track. The image of buffoon has had its lasting
effect on the national male psyche.
The next major effort was, and still is, in the area of child custody rights.
This is a very sensitive problem with thousands of men who have, like may women,
been subjected to a court system that suffers an intellectually incestuous and
critical level of cranial-rectosis which proclaims that under no circumstances
does a man have the capacity to be an adequate single parent. A more
argumentative position is equally visible around the idea that being forced to
give up 60 to 75 percent of what might be only a meager income to spousal &
child support serves some kind of social purpose and is supportive in some
obtuse way of family values and fostering responsible action. These are
not easy questions and their refusal to support easy answers attests to the
attention that needs to be applied to them for solution.
There was, however, one major positive trend that developed out of this era.
That was the creation of a small but effective network of men's support groups.
The nature of women makes it relatively easy for them to gather in like kinds
and discuss/process the issues that concern them. They have, after all, been
doing it since the dawn of time as they tended the fires and children. It
is quite another story for men. Our early forefathers spent their lives
hunting. Knowing that animals have sensitive hearing, they spoke only when
necessary. It came quite naturally to them and became our legacy. We find it far
easier to stuff, fret and just ignore the emotional concerns that we don't
understand until we are faced with divorce papers, unemployment or multitudes of
crises of another nature. Men's groups offer the opportunity to look at
problems in a perspective that allows emotional responses and support but most
importantly it gives us access to another man who can listen to us
empathetically. These groups, although not as popular as they were ten years
ago, are now the only generally available avenue for men to vent and gain growth
in community. Therapy is generally not an available venue because of its cost
and the fact that these problems are for the most part cultural not behavioral.
Personal life coaching has rapidly become another option, particularly because
it is openly embraced by the corporate world, but even there the field is
deficient in coaches who can truly appreciate the needs that exist.
In a true reflection of the American way, the lack of a unifying political
agenda has doomed the men's movement as we understand it. The only way to
cure the ills and change the relationships that rob us all of our happiness
potential is to create our own individual movement; to begin to value personal
growth and awareness of our physical and emotional world as a worthwhile
priority; to join in community with other like minded men to support each other
as valued, honorable, strong, willful and successful, humans being, rather than
just men doing.
©Copyright 2005, Kenneth F. Byers
Dr. Ken Byers is a coaching professional with a thirty year background
in business, industry and therapy. He specializes in telephone based Men's Life Coaching and cross-gender personal coaching, helping businesses and individuals identify, define and achieve their Vision through Essential Self-management Technology.
Ken can be reached at: 415/239-6929
E-mail:
mekendar@pacbell.net
Website:
http://www.kenbyerscoach.com/
