Keys to the Kingdom
By Alison A. Armstrong. Sherman
Oaks, CA: PAX Programs, Inc.,
Alison Armstrong, creator of the
workshop for women Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women, has written a
most remarkable novel. It is axiomatic that novels, to be
successful, must typically depict some striking conflict that
engages the reader’s attention. Keys to the Kingdom manages
to succeed both as a work of fiction and as an exposition of
Armstrong’s engaging gender theories while telling the story of a
series of characters that are by and large uniformly nice, likable,
and even at times inspiring.
77-year-old Claudia comes from a
family that has a tradition, going back fully twenty-five
generations, of passing on from mother to daughter a set of
teachings about men. However, Claudia had no daughters, and her
divorcee granddaughter Kimberlee seemed uninterested in receiving
her grandmother’s knowledge. So Claudia chooses a woman who attends
her yoga classes to be her student and eventually in a series of
meetings passes on some of her information to Karen. As a result,
Karen’s relationship with her husband Mike goes through some
remarkable transformations. Later (it is tempting to explain further
but I don’t want to spoil the plot!) some further, delightfully
unexpected benefits flow from the risk Claudia took in passing on
her information to a stranger, contrary to the usual rules followed
by her family.
This book is so much more than
the sum of its parts. A lot of the theories related by Claudia are
freshly formulated, and there are new kernels of wisdom contained in
the doctrines. I will share a few to give a flavor for the book:
Men go through a passage Claudia
calls the “Tunnel,” most commonly in their late thirties or early
forties, at a point where they have established themselves in their
career. They enter the Tunnel as a “Middle Prince” and come out the
other side as a “King.” While going through the Tunnel, men distance
themselves from those closest to them, so as to be most able to
create their own independent identity. After passing through the
Tunnel, career becomes less central in a man’s self-definition. This
passage is sometimes mislabeled a mid-life crisis because it is
often a crisis—for the man’s wife! Kings are wise and
primarily devoted to helping others, and simply will not do anything
that does not “interest” them. (pp. 94-95)
Men view their opinions as
extensions of themselves, and thus relative to women are more
reluctant to express opinions on issues peripheral to them. At the
same time, men will more fiercely defend any opinions they do
express because they tend to view the opinions as integral to their
selves. (pp. 132-33)
Men love to give. Not
receiving is selfish and receiving is generous. (p. 143)
Keys to the Kingdom
is likely to bring tears to your eyes, joy to
your heart, and fascinating new thoughts to your brain. Don’t miss
it!
J. Steven Svoboda ©2005
